Number of the Beast
I’ve always loved Iron
Maiden. Many have called them overrated, then as now. Certainly they got a
little carried away with ego and image; they are the sole inspiration for
parody in Spinal Tap.
Whether this album best represents all of those things
that were overblown about them, I don’t know. Certainly it’s a great album, one
of their best. I just think that people focus on it too much. What’s
disappointing is, it’s the first Maiden album that does not have an
instrumental; and the first without Paul Di’Anno. Now, Bruce is a great singer
but as he was still under previous contractual obligation he couldn’t even
contribute his amazing songwriting abilities to the meager extent that Steve
Harris would later permit. Also, as Nico has not yet joined on drums I must say,
the chemistry between Bruce and
Clive Burr is less than
stellar—‘Run to the Hills’ is the exception that proves the rule; overall that
bouncy tom-tom sound worked much better with Paul’s sharp, angsty vocals,
whereas the lineup that coalesced for Piece of Mind was their most
sophisticated, and probably the most talented metal band of all time.
The title track is worn-out; aforementioned ‘Run to the
Hills’ is always fun to sing along to with friends, ‘Hallowed be Thy Name’ is
of course their greatest song ever and ‘Total Eclipse’, co-written by Di’Anno
is probably Maiden’s all-time heaviest song.
Some Girls
Some Girls has been quoted as being the last truly
great Rolling Stones album—well, not quoted; but people have said that.
And
I get what they mean: it is the end
of an era, the Stones finally letting youth and their earlier stardom go. The thing
is, though, it just isn’t true. Tattoo You and Steel Wheels are far better
albums—more mature, more heavy, more masculine—more consistent: there are
really only a couple good tracks on Some Girls.
Keith’s
‘Before They Make Me Run’ is the absolute highlight. ‘Shattered’ is cool.
‘Beast of Burden’, alright. But ‘Miss You’ is played out; I had a Puerto Rican
coworker who found the breakdown rap mildly offensive and irritating—as far as
disco they do a better job on ‘Emotional Rescue’, thanks of course to Bill
Wyman.
The
title track is not just sexist and racist—it’s boring. And is it ‘Just My
Imagination’ or is Mick getting too old to seem cute doing his little English
covers of Motown songs?
Appetite for
Destruction
OK, it’s probably one of the
greatest rock debuts of all time. ‘Welcome to the Jungle’ ‘Sweet Child O’ Mine’
and ‘Paradise City’, all great songs, still play on the radio daily. I’m just
tired of hearing people talk about, “It’s their greatest album”! Use Your
Illusion, anybody? If you wanna admit that the only thing that makes it
“better” is the fact that Steven Adler’s on the drums, fine! at least you’re
being honest; and maybe you’re right... but if it’s because your measly brain
can only handle songs about sex and drugs and not contemplate war, social
dislocation, megalomania, love and other more philosophical considerations just
go back to your AC/DC!
The Doors
This, too is one of rock’s
timeless debuts. ‘Light My Fire’ and ‘Whiskey Bar’ are staples of classic rock
radio. ‘The End’ is iconic through its use in Apocalypse Now and as the inspiration for epic rock from ‘Dream On’
to ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’. Above all this record captures the time (’67) place
(Los Angeles) and feeling (duh!)
better than any other.
The problem is that by holding it up critics have
asserted the band’s subsequent efforts fall short—and this is untrue. From the spaced-out
perfection of Strange Days and the prog-rock experiments in the studio that led
to the commercially successful Waiting for the Sun, to the brilliant
orchestration and proto-hip-hop of Soft Parade and all-on rock of Morrison
Hotel and L.A. Woman, not to mention the excellent live shows turned out on the
occasions Jim wasn’t too messed up to perform, the Doors never looked back.
Kind of Blue
Kind of Blue truly is a
great album. Perhaps the greatest. Still; it represents a certain whitening and
stagnation of jazz taste, even if made by a predominantly black and
forward-thinking ensemble. Miles himself hated being pigeonholed by this
release, even as it helped him to reach a wider audience, whom he exploited to
finance his expensive tastes.
John Coltrane is neither at his worst nor his best. There
are definitely Miles records where Trane’s solos are simply embarrassing. But
here, he is the least remarkable of the group.
Bill Evans, despite adding so much to the texture and
atmosphere of the record (his intro to ‘All Blues’ is a highlight) is shown up
by Wynton Kelly, who only plays on one track, the bluesy ‘Freddie Freeloader’.
And the closer, ‘Flamenco Sketches’, which is given two takes on modern Cd
releases, is boring, and disappointing next to the full realization of the
incomparably superior record, Sketches of Spain.
This album helped to kick off the modal jazz craze, but
for all that, despite its authentic jazz elements, where are the drum, the bass
solos?
Exile on Main Street
Yes, another Stones album on
the list…maybe I’m trying to say something? What if we listed the most
overrated bands?
Anyhow, Exile is a sprawling mess. And why do we
romanticize the fact some rich English chaps don’t wanna pay their taxes? There
are two good songs on this heroin-soaked-cotton-ball of an album: ‘Tumbling
Dice’ and ‘Happy’
pretty much everything
by Bach
other than the Organ
Works
Why are classical listeners
so obsessed with Bach? As if he were the apotheosis of Baroque, rather than its
contrapuntal decadence?
The answer, I think, lies in the eugenic, anti-Catholic
bias of Anglo-Teutonic protestant tastemakers in the English-speaking world.
The Italians, even the least of them, were vastly superior to this uptight
Lutheran, and the early Baroque far more pure than the late. At the same time
I’d rather hear J.S.’s son C.P.E. Bach most days than his father.
To be fair, there are a few choral masterpieces and,
again, the organ works are divine, incomparable and in a class of their own,
though I’d throw in Wagner’s arrangement of the Wedding March from Lohengrin.
The Ring Cycle
Speaking of Wagner, he only
followed through in finishing this quartet of nonsense at the unremitting
prodding of his benefactor, mad King Ludwig of Bavaria. Wagner at one point
wanted to produce the piece annually at no charge for the benefit of the common
man, socialist that he was, in a wooden theatre constructed specially for the
occasion and burned to the ground after the third night. Rather, at his wife’s
insistence and, ultimately, direction, he got Bayreuth with high ticket prices
exclusive for the well-t-do whom Wagner despised.
Siegfried has its moments; the rest of it is boring. The
overture to Das Fliegende Holländer has all that is great about The Ring,
condensed into actual music.
Lohengrin is divine. Tristan und Isolde heavenly as well.
No doubt The Ring has helped to inspire more cultural
works in the last century than any other musical composition, from Tolkien to
Star Wars. Nonetheless; it is far from Herr Kapellmeister’s finest.
Led Zeppelin IV
or ‘Zoso’
I
take it back, then—the Stones are not the most overrated band. This scrawny,
effeminate shrieker and the drunken buffoon of a drummer who only knows one
beat utterly ruin the ingenious creations of the studio musicians:
bassist/keyboardist/mandolin master and junkie/sex-pervert guitar player;
except perhaps on ‘The Battle of Evermore’, the only good track on this
absolutely (and literally) God-forsaken album.
The
horrible, overrated ‘Stairway to Heaven’ is probably only so popular because
Bonham doesn’t play for most of the song—and yet, paradoxically, the song only
gets good at the end, when the drums come in.
Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely
Hearts Club Band
The
rest of this list is meaningless. Great music enjoyed by sensible individuals.
Here
we have something of another order altogether. How the greatest rock band,
under the obvious and indiscreet influence of the most wonderful drug churned
out this garbage is beyond me.
There
are precisely 1.5 good songs on this record: the incomparable harmonic joy of ‘Lovely
Rita’ and Lennon’s part of ‘A Day in the Life’.
No comments:
Post a Comment